Over the top safety instructions

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Aye Capn
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Post by Aye Capn » Mon, 17. Sep 18, 23:24

Sugar and spice didn't just spring whole into the Royal Academy of Comestibles by spontaneous generation.

Trigger warning for cultural appropriation!

Ezarkal
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Post by Ezarkal » Tue, 18. Sep 18, 15:29

Don't forget to include the material safety data sheet for the different ingredients you'll be using.

Here's the one for sugar: http://www.sciencelab.com/msds.php?msdsId=9927285

I really like the first aid measures:
Section 4: First Aid Measures
Eye Contact:
Check for and remove any contact lenses. In case of contact, immediately flush eyes with plenty of water for at least 15
minutes. Cold water may be used. Get medical attention if irritation occurs.

Skin Contact:
Wash with soap and water. Cover the irritated skin with an emollient. Get medical attention if irritation develops. Cold water
may be used.
Serious Skin Contact: Not available.
Inhalation:
If inhaled, remove to fresh air. If not breathing, give artificial respiration. If breathing is difficult, give oxygen. Get medical
attention.
Serious Inhalation: Not available.
Ingestion:
Do NOT induce vomiting unless directed to do so by medical personnel. Never give anything by mouth to an unconscious
person. Loosen tight clothing such as a collar, tie, belt or waistband. Get medical attention if symptoms appear.
Serious Ingestion: Not available.
Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the first opening they develop is the anus.
This means that at one point you were nothing but an asshole.

Some people never develop beyond this stage.

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Hank001
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Post by Hank001 » Tue, 18. Sep 18, 15:34

@ Ezarkal

:rofl: :thumb_up:

Now I'm giving sweeting my coffee a rethink. NOT.
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Alan Phipps
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Post by Alan Phipps » Tue, 18. Sep 18, 15:48

Re the above incomplete sucrose first aid measure:

Serious Ingestion: take regular strenuous activities such as sports or exercise.

(See appropriate risk analysis for strenuous activities.)
A dog has a master; a cat has domestic staff.

Aye Capn
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Post by Aye Capn » Tue, 18. Sep 18, 21:41

OMG Ezarkal you are EPIC my man. Laughing so hard right now ...

Ezarkal
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Post by Ezarkal » Tue, 18. Sep 18, 22:12

That's just one of many. You'd be surprised how crazy material safety data sheet can go for very simple substances.

They basically got "rinse with water", "do not make vomit" and "move to fresh air"" as default response, and apply it wherever actual toxicology data and specific first aid measure are not described. (Oh, and don't forget "get medical attention".)

Here's a part of the one for sand.
Section 3: Hazards Identification
Potential Acute Health Effects: Slightly hazardous in case of skin contact (irritant), of eye contact (irritant), of ingestion, of
inhalation.
Potential Chronic Health Effects:
CARCINOGENIC EFFECTS: Classified 1 (Proven for human.) by IARC. Classified A2 (Suspected for human.) by ACGIH.
MUTAGENIC EFFECTS: Not available. TERATOGENIC EFFECTS: Not available. DEVELOPMENTAL TOXICITY: Not
available. The substance may be toxic to lungs, upper respiratory tract. Repeated or prolonged exposure to the substance can
produce target organs damage.
First aid measures are the same as for sugar.
You be careful on the beach, for now on.

PS: At least, they don't tell you to rinse your eye if it's been in contact with water. (Yes, I just checked, and no, it wouldn't have surprised me if it had been the case. :roll:)
Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the first opening they develop is the anus.
This means that at one point you were nothing but an asshole.

Some people never develop beyond this stage.

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Hank001
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Post by Hank001 » Tue, 18. Sep 18, 22:39

Ezarkal notes:
PS: At least, they don't tell you to rinse your eye if it's been in contact with water. (Yes, I just checked, and no, it wouldn't have surprised me if it had been the case. :roll: )
Guess eventually they'll get sued my someone for that omission. Suppose all this started when lawyers started coming up with things to keep them in business.

Well that and when common sense started becomming uncommon.

Keep those coming though. Passed that sucrose warning on to friends and lightened up their day.

:lol:
The answer to life, the universe and everything:
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Morkonan
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Post by Morkonan » Thu, 20. Sep 18, 09:17

I totally just remembered this! Dang, I wish I remembered it earlier:

http://www.ilpi.com/fun/msds/index.html

Yes, it's the totally fun M.S.D.S. sheet generator! ENJOY!

(You can find bunches of these and funny Material Safety Data Sheets online, so start Googling.)

Here's one: http://www.hsegroup.com/caffiene.htm

Ezarkal
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Post by Ezarkal » Thu, 20. Sep 18, 15:05

Dammit, Mork. I have some stuff to do today.
Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the first opening they develop is the anus.
This means that at one point you were nothing but an asshole.

Some people never develop beyond this stage.

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Hank001
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Post by Hank001 » Thu, 20. Sep 18, 15:30

@ Morkonan

Houston we have a problem. Invasive toxin exposure Hot Zone: Washington D.C.:
!!!Unsafe Material Data Sheet!!!
MonoProvericative HydroChloride
Manufacturer and Contact Information
Manufacturer: Gorky Weapons Lab. Contact: Kremlin Tourism Office.
Chemical ID #: QZ7-18054060-749A Validity of this report: 96%, n
Date Prepared: Thursday, September 20, 2018

Toxicity and Health Effects:
MonoProvericative HydroChloride is a chemical that has been scientifically proven to induce Deceptive Lying Speech in 98% of Politicians after oral administration of 10 nanograms.
Formal human studies on the toxicity of MonoProvericative HydroChloride have not been done. However, a recently released FDA report revealed that Donald Trump developed incredibly large oral growths after just one exposure. OSHA and the EPA have reported that this chemical is so mutagenic that it makes VX nerve gas look like the Tooth Fairy.

Both acute and chronic exposure to MonoProvericative HydroChloride results in mutation of the Tongue.

Occupational exposure is particularly severe for Politicians, who typically combine this chemical with Tide Pods for use as a breath freshener.

First Aid Procedures
In case of contact with skin, flush the affected area liberally with Urine for 15 minutes. If victim's Brain comes in contact with MonoProvericative HydroChloride, it is likely to shrink in size and probably should be removed surgically; in either case this will still be larger than Jeff Sessions's Brain.
Inhalation of MonoProvericative HydroChloride may cause vomiting. If possible, remove victim to fresh air and administer blows to the head until the victim either dies or signs a legal waiver freeing you from liability.

Use of Muzzles with this chemical is generally recommended, however a study using this protection for Sarah Sanders's Mouth revealed that MonoProvericative HydroChloride can overwhelm even these protective measures.
Outstanding link there guy!
The answer to life, the universe and everything:
MIND THE GAP

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