Weird question relating to American schools!

[Usenko]

Hi all,

This is a question for our American friends.

The school where I work is producing a musical next week - "High School Musical". Now, I'm responsible for recording announcements for the beginning and the intermission. We have a tradition that the announcements are presented in theme - when we did Pirates of Penzance, the voice over was a pirate; when we did "Annie" it was an American 1920s radio announcer and so on. This time it's announcements for the student body of East High!

Some of the announcements will be the usual things - turn your mobile phone off please (or in theme, "please turn off your cell phone and leave it in your locker,") advertising the food and drinks available at the canteen ("A selection of snacks and drinks is on sale at the Cafeteria"), etc. But I want to add a few just for flavour!

These are also intended to be in-jokes for members of the School community. East High in Albuquerque will be facing off against a school from Colorado which has a suspiciously similar name to our own. And so on.

Now, for one of these, I intend to poke fun at one of the PE teachers, who's always good for a laugh. He's a huge mountain of a man, and a tough guy's tough guy.

I thought of the quintessential embarrassment for an Aussie student - "Your mum [mom!] is at the office, she's brought your lunch!" - but then I realised that American school students generally get their lunch from the Cafeteria, so no go. Similarly, you folks don't normally have uniforms, so bringing your PE uniform to the office isn't a thing.

What would be the most embarrassing thing that a student from the USA who saw himself as a tough guy might hear over the school's PA system? Especially brought by your mom?

And any other funny ideas while you're at it?

[fiksal]

Ha, I've no idea

Your phone with a wallpaper of Back Street Boys was found in Cafeteria?

[Morkonan]

...
I thought of the quintessential embarrassment for an Aussie student - "Your mum [mom!] is at the office, she's brought your lunch!" - but then I realised that American school students generally get their lunch from the Cafeteria, so no go. Similarly, you folks don't normally have uniforms, so bringing your PE uniform to the office isn't a thing.

Many school districts have "uniforms" and they're required for students. Most of the "High Schools," which would be 9'th to 12'th grades, may not. P.E. "unforms" are a thing, too. At least they were even when I was in school and that was like just before that big rock killed all those lizards...

Public Schools do serve lunches, but some students do still bring their own lunch. It all depends, really. (Most don't, though.) Some schools may frown/forbid that, since they don't want a disparity in the quality of lunches making students feel bad or something like that.

What would be the most embarrassing thing that a student from the USA who saw himself as a tough guy might hear over the school's PA system? Especially brought by your mom?

And any other funny ideas while you're at it?

Girl - "Karen Miller, please report to the Main Office. Your mother is here with your tampons." (Would never happen, btw.)
Boy - "Rudy Miller, please report to the Main Office. Your mother has brought you a change of underwear." (same...)

Hmmm...

"Johnny Miller, please report to the Main Office. Your mother is here with your dance shoes." (Tap, Ballet, whatever the specific shoe is called, maybe?)
"Johnny Miller, please report to the Main Office. Your mother has dropped off your wrestling team, uh... onesie."

Would many attendees understand stuff from "Ferris Beuller's Day Off?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KS6f1MKpLGM

IIRC, there was an announcement over the PA system in that school that detailed something about the fundraiser/charity drive/something concerning Ferris Beuller's "illness" which skyrocketed in severity among students, thanks to the gossip chain, as the movie went along. You might do something like that, too. For instance, announcements that pick out a particular person and then escalate in severity in a comical way as things go on?

So, somewhere in your opening "monologue" of "annoucements" you pick out someone and give a humorous announcement about some trouble their having, are in, etc.. The next announcement increasese the severity and brings in some nonsensical, ironic, funny, element. But, in order to have enough of a storyline for it to be funny/memorable, you may need a closing monologue after the final cast credits/etc, as if your monologue, itself, was part of the cast. Think of it as that classic "End Credits" scene in movies where something funny happens. Everyone knows there's an end-credits scene, so they hang around. Well, your audience is going to be filing out at this point after the cast does their traditional bow. That's when you start the last "announcements" so the audience gets that same "feel" of an end credits scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRJ38y4Jn6k (Ferris Beuller's Day Off End Credits Scene)

Ha, I've no idea

Your phone with a wallpaper of Back Street Boys was found in Cafeteria?

That's actually pretty good and might serve as a theme. ie: "Mr. Plinket found your Micky Mouse Lunchbox in the Girl's Showers," etc.. IOW - The idea of the "lost and found" announcement is pretty good, maybe better than the "Your mom" original.