How common is 'IT rage', do you get it ?

[exogenesis]

tl;dr : do you get physical & destructively annoyed with computers & other inanimate objects,
how do you deal with it ?


I guess it's something like 'Road rage', or getting insta-annoyed with your partner,
but that involves someone else annoying you in some way, and you are less likely to 'follow through'.

Is inanimate object rage different,
or do we project 'personalities' onto the object 'annoying us' & react in a similar way ?
This damned computer/game is deliberately annoying me!!!!

Or is it all just a flash-temper psyche related thing. Is my/your amygdala in control.


The reason I'm posting is that currently I'm struggling to justify buying yet another PC monitor
(wistfully/whishfully looking at a £1600 LG UltraGear 38GL950G 38 Inch - probably going to end up delayed-impulse buying it).

I've broken 4 (expensive) monitors so far in the last few years, two within the last fortnight.
Literally just bought a 32" £850 Dell - it lasted about 6 hours,
& yes I was enjoying playing X4, when 'somehow' the controller slam-bounced off the table & ruined the screen.
Was not so chuffed with myself...

So far to my memory 4 controllers have gone west as well, along with 3 keyboards & a few mice.
I'm not sure how the PC itself has lasted 9 years - maybe cos it's hiding under the table!

Just been reading around I can see it's a pretty common thing,
guess it's not black & white though, there are probably varying degrees,
but now feeling a bit better that it's a 'normal thing'.

I particularly enjoyed this 'confession' article
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... te-objects


Trouble is I can't see how any of the 'how to control remedies' will help,
you just don't get the time to 'stop, calm & think' when the rage hits, & the damage is done in a second.

Perhaps I should just stop using computers - or at least playing games (but I play only X games!)
Considering putting a perspex safety screen in front of the monitor.

Anyone found any other solutions ?,
I can't afford to keep doing this, & I'm beginning to worry that I can't trust/control myself...


In other news,
I think I've hopefully managed to protect my egg-laying wild mallard duck,
by putting the duckhouse further out in the pond
- it was a bit too close the previous night, almost had just a pile of feathers (again)
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[Vertigo 7]

Jebus dude. Can't say I've not heard of people doing this before but I usually observe that kind of behavior from kids mostly. I was even known to occasionally toss a controller across the room way back when, but video games don't really get to me that much these days. If I run across a game that's particularly frustrating, I tend to play it in small doses. I never reach that flash point. Maybe it's just a prospective of control, but I don't let something like a video game cause me to loose my mind over it.

I look at it like this thing that has no conscience, no free well, no ability to care one way or another if I'm angry, and I've let it control my mental state. A bit silly sounding, right? There's that and I also view violence as a "last resort", and said object, again, doesn't care. It's far easier to just walk away from it. I pay for these things for my entertainment, and if I'm not entertained, then what's the point?

Do you find yourself quick to anger? Is it in your normal routine to use threats of violence to try to persuade people to do things or behave in a way that you want? You don't need to answer here, but if that's the case, I would highly recommend taking some adult martial arts classes and even seek out a reputable therapist. Strike a balance and learn to control your impulses. You may even actually have a chemical imbalance that the proper medication could help address, but talk that over with a doctor.

[X2-Illuminatus]

Yes, I do get it to a certain degree. Whereby for me it's mostly about software not doing what I want, and I have realised long ago that physical aggression against hardware is hardly doing anything good. (Also I've never destroyed any hardware during an 'IT rage', at least not any expensive hardware I remember.) What works for me is standing up, when I realise that I'm getting angrier and angrier in a short timeframe (i.e. not waiting for the "explosion" to happen). Most of the time it's a combination of doing something for too long, and being too stressed and too tired, to see / find the solution. Standing up and going away (for example to a different room) helps to divert my anger away from the hardware I'm sitting at and to a degree also to calm me down. It's far from being instantaneous. But after going away, maybe even screaming or cursing my anger away, returning to my place and starting again, I often enough realise that it cannot work in the way I tried before.

[exogenesis]

Thanks for replying to the mad man post

tbh I consider myself a 'well balanced' normally & very (extremely) patient & thoughtful kind of person,
don't have problems with people very often, so all of this doesn't extend into 'normal social' life,
although some have said I have a bit of a flash temper - it isn't an issue 99.99% of the time,
it's that 0.01% that gets me...

Strangely it only seems to occur with inanimate objects, & particularly PC games, I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's more common than we would like to think, - I just wish it wasn't so expensive.
Thought about 'anger management', but I've been through one or two 'cognative therapy methods' before, & just got bemused/amused.


I'm also a software engineer, & I know the occasional strong frustration syndrome,
but I never get the real insta-rage when I am 'creating' (or trying to).
Trouble is when I'm gaming & it happens, I find there's no time-window for diverting the effects,
it all happens in an instant. Wish there was some kind of warning device I could wear to indicate onset.
(marketing opportunity !)

[Alan Phipps]

For me there has been the odd rage-quit (nothing physical) in my history when something has gone wrong and wiped out an important bit of work or progress that I cannot easily recover.

It is not that I forget to save frequently, but more that I'll just try one more thing that I think really, really clever and then something else causes a problem (I hate random CTDs or freezes etc) and then I can't remember quite what I was trying to do at the time.

In one application that froze on me at a crucial stage when I was being really ingenious (or so I thought), I was so incensed that I even deleted the locally-saved work - but I was quite embarrassed and ashamed about that later (thank heavens for back-ups) and so never did that again. That was indeed flash-temper as you call it with a bit of frustration mixed in.

[birdtable]

I have an old stuffed kids animal which I throw out of the window,,, no damage done just some humility gained when retrieved from the garden. I have been known to uninstall a game in frustration, never an Egosoft game ... (fingers double crossed Although my wife stated that I did swear a lot with X4 Foundations) later re-install and hope the save is intact.... It is wonderous that software cannot recognise the skill level of the operator.... In my younger days I have been known to break stuff while talking to it as if it understood why it was being destroyed...

[pjknibbs]

I have been known to get extremely angry with inanimate objects, usually computer related, but as a general rule I'm never quite so far out of it as to destroy anything expensive. If you were to look at the back of the door into my dining room (where my computer was set up for many years before I moved it upstairs) then you'd see several smashed bits where I punched it in rage due to something having gone wrong when playing a game! I did once get so angry with a game (Independence War 2: Edge of Chaos) that I ejected the CD-ROM, put it carefully back in the box, and then threw the whole thing in the bin--it's rather less satisfying to hit the Uninstall button on a digital download, though.

[Stars_InTheirEyes]

Rage from any source is something that is hard to completely swallow for most people, I think. Venting it on inanimate objects is better than it being directed toward anything living. Think of the cost of replacing/repairing any damage caused as your repentance and use it as a reminder next time to not slam quite so hard next time.
Broke a few PS3/Xbox controllers and I think one mouse but not for a while. Usually game rage; World of Tanks, PUBG and to a lesser extent hard single player games like Sekiro. When I get annoyed in games now, I am guilty of some foul-mouthed quiet mutterings I'd hate for my granny to hear but the physical rage is something I've managed to subdue.

[red assassin]

I've never damaged anything in anger. I don't really tend to play games that I get particularly frustrated at, though. I get enough frustration at stuff that won't work or I can't figure out professionally to not want to do that when I'm trying to unwind as well!

[Olterin]

Closest I've come is "alright that's it, I'm done with this game, time to uninstall". No point in raging at inanimate objects for being designed the way they are (and certainly no point in raging at people). Venting is a different matter, I do still have this wonderful civ (I think it's 5) save where I have a good solid nuclear arsenal and nuclear submarines ready to deploy it. Man, lovely fireworks

[Chips]

Oh I didn't read properly before answering >.< Never broken anything computer wise in anger, though did have to replace a keyboard my mother smashed in frustration.
But frequently get annoyed - usually things like Microsoft update failing for the 40th time and deciding it ignores settings and will install right when I desperately NEED to have a fully (no slow) computer functioning for purpose Y.

[Mightysword]

Strangely it only seems to occur with inanimate objects, & particularly PC games, I'm not sure why.

Well, as someone who are well verse in the realm of ... (ahem) anime products, people transform into a different personality when playing games/watching movie is a fairly common trope. But maybe it's not an anime thing after all.

If I have can make a suggestion, make a lamented cardboard and hang it somewhere next to your screen, to remind yourself to calm down when the rage hit.

[fiksal]

another option is to remove things you are angry with.

you can slowly introduce them back once you stop getting such a strong reaction.
I for example stopped playing MOBA type games for awhile.


that said, I hear you, but maybe I am not so much of a help. I've channeled my rage into fights / martial arts long ago, and I've little of it left otherwise.

[Alan Phipps]

"another option is to remove things you are angry with.
you can slowly introduce them back once you stop getting such a strong reaction."

Like a short-term/temporary forum ban, you mean? <just kidding>

[exogenesis]

Well, I could ban myself from playing X4 - somehow I don't think it'd stick for long though,
I mean whatever else are computers for ?

'Glad' to see there are fellow object-bashers here, makes me feel a little less daft for knackering those monitors

What would be on the laminated carboard, just words saying 'Dont Get Annoyed',
or a picture of someone you want to punch (instead of the monitor, Donald comes to mind) ?

Re-channelling into other physical activity sounds like an idea,
martial arts sounds a bit dangerous (at my age), I've got a 'Maxi-climber' but it knackers me after just 5 mins (or less).

Still thinking of that plastiglass safety screen, maybe I could put the controller on a rope that won't reach the screen.
but the battteries might still fly out!

Hopefully when my new monitor arrives, I'll be constantly so nervous of damaging it (at £1600), the problem won't exist anymore...I hope.

[Mightysword]

What would be on the laminated carboard, just words saying 'Dont Get Annoyed',

Something to that effect. Btw I was being serious, from time to time I do have to work with people who have (medically diagnosed) controlling issues. It's not necessary physical violent and breaking stuff, but things like quick to anger, quick to find excuse, quick to blaming, imposter syndrome, panic attack ...etc... These individually are acutely aware of their problems, for example if you point out their mistake, they will compulsively make excuse on the spot. But 9/10 times when you talk to them once they calm out, they'll be willingly admit it's their fault. So I have them write a statement - a self-promissory note of sort, and preemptively put this statement in their view whenever they're about to start a task that will trigger them. I won't say it works all the time, but over the years it had helped a few people.

In your case it can be as specific as "I promise myself I will never break another monitor!". Most importantly, it should be something you write with a somber/serious mindset, not something that you just gonna pass/dismiss as a joke or meme.

or a picture of someone you want to punch (instead of the monitor, Donald comes to mind) ?

Eh I'm not sure if that will help. But no that's not the intention. The suggestion I'm making is not about finding an alternate outlet for your outburst, but to keep it subside before it's fully triggered. 'Cause, in my experience, once it's triggered the individual don't have much control left to direct the outburst anyway. Pretty much all training one receives on dealing with this is always prevention. There is very little chance to calm someone down once they're triggered, that's why in public space you have to resort to hard-measure (security), or possibly de-escalate by giving the person some space if the condition allows. So the goal is always prevention.

Rather, if you have someone who dear to you who had advised on this before, use THEIR picture with a caption like "Hey Exogenesis, calm down, take a walk" on the side of your screen. Someone you believe you never gonna hit whose words you feel you can trust no matter how angry you are.

[fiksal]

"another option is to remove things you are angry with.
you can slowly introduce them back once you stop getting such a strong reaction."

Like a short-term/temporary forum ban, you mean? <just kidding>

The rough idea - yes


It's easier to deal with stress and anger when the causes of it are removed. It's harder to work through them when the agitators are still present.

If it's games, take those games out. Play something else, that's interesting but relaxing. If it's a computer game, play something that doesnt flash screens too fast or doesnt require your 100% concentration.

Re-channelling into other physical activity sounds like an idea,
martial arts sounds a bit dangerous (at my age), I've got a 'Maxi-climber' but it knackers me after just 5 mins (or less).

It's an idea. How physically active are you or have been? If you ever done contact sports, martial arts just as a fitness sort of exercise will be just fine, I'd even say, almost at any age.
We had guys who are 60 yr old, they just take it easier than the rest.

In my experience contact sports have a way of clearing ones' head.

Contact sports also arent limited to the above. There's also soccer, hockey, rugby.

And many other sports and activities besides that. From walking to biking to running to swimming.

[BrasatoAlBarolo]

Can you explain me the reference to "foxes" and "ducks"?
I totally missed it. And makes me angry. Really angry. IT angry. And I mean Stephen King's.

On a completely different note: would you like a pizza-shaped air baloon?

[exogenesis]

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Looks fairly calm to me,
although maybe a bit too much tomato puree on that.


Foxes & Duck (in my garden at night, very stressing)
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Touch & go which gets it first



btw I've now had my Ultragear 38" monitor for 10 days now,
without destroying it even once !, happy days X4ing