"Engrish" instructions

[Jericho]

I've just bought a new (cheap) tablet for my 3 yearold son because I'm a terrible parent.

Actually, he loved his spelling and counting games on my old ipad, as well as watching Paw Patrol and PJ Masks. (He's learns a lot of stuff from TV, especially Octonauts with fish and oceans, and Blaze which has a lot of maths).

Anyway, old-ipad-go-smash. So I bought a cheap android for £35. Just received this fabulous email.

I can't decide if it is much better than I remember growing up (i.e. you can understand what they mean), or if it is unacceptable in this day and age that they can't email this to an English speaker and get them to correct it (The text feels like google translate). No, I'm not correcting it and sending it back. I'm part of the problem, not the solution.

Dear customers,

Thanks a lot for your selection of our tablet!

We guess you might want to know these questions as follows, please kindly take a while to check it freely:

Q1：What should I do if this tablet cannot turn on once I received?
R: Please don’t worry. This might caused by low battery. Because this item has been taken several days for delivery. The battery is very low when it arrived. So this issue can be resolved by full charged. This tablet should be charging 4 to 6 hours at least at the first time, and full charged it once the battery run out.
Note: Before using this product, please charge it for 4-6 hours! And please download the correct version Apps from Google market.

Q2: How to make the tablet connect the tablet with Wi-Fi?
R: In the main menu or interface, choose setting application procedure; then click WLAN and switch it to ON, MID will automatically search the available Wi-Fi wireless internet; and then please just choose the Wi-Fi Internet you want and input the password, click connect.
If the tablet cannot be connect properly, please try to do it as the following two options shown:
1. Firstly, please access into the \"setting\" icon, then click the \"back up & reset \", then click\"factory date resetting\" to erase the tablet . Then reset your WiFi router, after that close to your WiFi router, give it for 2 minutes to get the full wireless single. After that, please connect to WiFi step by step and TRY MORE TIMES
2. Could you please help us to check if the mobile network was turned on? You can check it on \"Data usage\" under setting. If not, you can just turn it on or set it with following steps
- Go to 'Settings'
- Select 'More' under 'Data Usage'
- Select 'Mobile Networks'
- Enable 'Data Enabled' , and you can see a green tick on it when you opened it successfully.

Q3: Is there any way can set the language to my mother language?
R: Please just view the “language settings” to set the language you need.

There is a detail product manual in the package, please check it carefully. If you still have any other issue except what mentioned above, please just feel free to contact us.
We also prepared some suggestions for this tablet, hoping this would be helpful for you:

1> Please avoid to use the tablet by direct solar radiation, high/low temperature, and high humidity environment, or it may cause damage to the tablet and shorten its life.
2> Please remember to charge this device timely, and keep it full charged every time.
3> Please don’t dismantle, repair, or modify this product by your self, the machine without User-maintainable part.

If you have any problem with this item after you get it, please just feel free to contact us by replying to this E-mail. Customers' satisfaction is always the first thing! Our company will pay highly attention to any issues and resolve it ASAP.

We also wish you could consider us again if there is anything you need from our Amazon store!

Best regards,
JINYJIA

[Morkonan]

Much better than the last Ikea instructions I read... "Read" meaning I glanced at the pictographs until they stopped making sense. Literally - Was helping a friend and we just said "F it" and stopped building the crap when it sort of "looked like" the futon it was supposed to be. We had plenty of stuff left over, too.

[Rice]

1> Please avoid to use the tablet by direct solar radiation ( No androids for Devries ) , high/low temperature ( Keep it in the Eva Suit not outside ! ) , and high humidity environment ( The electrolyte tanks are no playgrounds)
, or it may cause damage to the tablet and shorten its life.

2> Please remember to charge this device timely, and keep it full charged every time ( let it never leave the USBloadingstation ! )
.
3> Please don’t dismantle, repair, or modify this product by your self, the machine without User-maintainable part. <- don't dismantle .... but i need to insert my "sim-card" to make a call

well thats the thing with overseas shipped stuff, the product does his work but the "extras" are sometimes laughter worth. the same quality of writings we have with germaninstructions too ^^

@Morkonan - Leftover screws are the best screws- your firend should make a dedicated box for leftover parts

[Dantrithor]

I had to write a installation / user manual for a QGIS (Geographical Information Systems software) plug-in I was asked to develop. Between my lack of love towards documentation, lack of sleep, and lack of english practice, I feel sad towards any user who had to actually read that useless piece of junk.

And I'm not from china... so... !

[Morkonan]

...
@Morkonan - Leftover screws are the best screws- your firend should make a dedicated box for leftover parts

There weren't any screws or connectors left over... It was a big huge vinyl liner like thing. The "instructions" may have just as well showed assemblers shoving the darn thing up their rectums, 'cause their pictographs didn't present any reasonable alternatives for use.

Ikea gets away from the troubles of hiring a translator for a few bucks by... just not using words.

[apogee]

do the insructions go on to say its finished in lead paint, handle tablet with gloves only.

manufactued by the dangerous toy corporation, whose motto is

'a sharp edge on every product'

[Morkonan]

...

'a sharp edge on every product'

"shop ed on airrry pwodruct"

/fixt

Srsly, though - I'm hesitant about any product manufactured in China that isn't overseen by either a well-known American company or by others that are known to have high standards. There's too many instances of toxic metals being used for skin-contact items (Jewelry), poor QC on food products, pet products, personal care products... Some of that hesitation may be just due to bias formed by a few headlines over the years, but still... those headlines weren't wrong.

Having had some experience dealing with certain Chinese manufactures, I can also say that certain environmental and quality practices are virtually nonexistent. (That may have changed, though, so I can't say it continues to be true. But... it used to be very true, back in the day.)

[Santi]

At the end of the day, for £35, that is some cracking English. Back in the day only top brands will have manuals in diferent languages. Hence our fearless approach to tinkering with electronic devices to the horror of our parents.

[Jericho]

At the end of the day, for £35, that is some cracking English. Back in the day only top brands will have manuals in diferent languages. Hence our fearless approach to tinkering with electronic devices to the horror of our parents.

The reason it is ~£35 is because it is a very old tablet. I think there are a few companies on Amazon that are shifting warehouses full of old tablets, in fresh cardboard boxes. I've seen the same tablet all over Amazon and ebay with different badges on it, and all with the same modern packaging (again with the label change).

It really was a bad tablet. Locked at KitKat 4.4, separate recharging pin instead of charging through USB, (that pin is basically waiting to snap off, especially with it's super-short lead), the tablet randomly restarts, and even restarts while it is restarting. Terrible quality screen. Sent it straight back.

[Morkonan]

... the tablet randomly restarts, and even restarts while it is restarting...

Well, at least its efficient...

[Jericho]

... the tablet randomly restarts, and even restarts while it is restarting...

Well, at least its efficient...