That's awesome! Great job!
Sometimes, actions take longer than expected. Little things crop up, the players get distracted or an unexpected encounter or discovery can side-track gameplay. It's all good, though. The only thing that matters is whether or not everyone has a good time!
Though, with my crew, even the simplest, most obviously mundane activity can take several hours... This is, partially, a true story. Seriously. No foolin'.
< * A bit overboard. Sorry, was offline and didn't look at word-count. Safe to ingore. I should buy another copy of X3TC to fund my postings... Parsed out the stage direction, so that helped.
>
"You step through the door. Roughly hewn walls of stone line the corridor stretching West to meet what appears to be a heavy oaken door about fifty paces ahead. The elaborate brass fittings are just like the ones you read about. This must be the Treasury door mentioned on the map!" said the Dungeon Master.
"I use my Detect Traps ability!" said the Rogue.
"I check the walls near us for secret doors," said the Mage.
"I ready my bow, just in case," said the Ranger.
"I cast Detect Evil!" said the Paladin.
"I prepare my axe for combat," said the Warrior.
"I mutter a short prayer to my god and then dig around in my pack for some rations. Praying is hard work," said the Cleric.
<dice rolls>
"OK. There don't appear to be any secret doors near you. There are no enemies that you can see. There doesn't appear to be any evil nearby. Your god is pleased with you and you munch upon a <dice roll> nice bit of dried jerky, Cleric. However, the Rogue does spot what appears to be a small pile of muck nestled against the South wall of the corridor.
"Hey, everybody, I found something! OK, I pull out my dagger and sneak up to the muck to examine it. If it moves, I'm ready," said the Rogue.
"I ready my Fireball spell and cast a simple Light cantrip on my staff, so we can see the thing better," said the Mage.
"You can't ready a spell and cast another," said the DM.
"It's a cantrip! I can cast those at any time. Besides, we're not in combat, so it doesn't matter," said the Mage.
"OK, whatever." replied the DM. "What about the rest of you?"
"Is it at Point Blank range? If so, I get an Attack Bonus!" said the Ranger.
"Yes," said the DM. "It's at Point Blank range."
"Awesome! I'm gonna nail that sucker," said the Ranger.
"Are you going to attack it?" asked the DM.
"No, but I'm ready to. I should get another bonus for that."
"You're not in combat, yet, so it doesn't matter," stated the DM.
"But it will!"
"I'm going to raise my Holy Symbol, in case it's evil," said the Paladin. "Oh, and I also ready my +5 Holy Avenger sword."
"Fine, you do that. Next?"
"I stand by the Rogue, in case it tries to jump him," said the Warrior. "I also ready my shield. If it attacks, I am declaring that I will try to shield the Rogue in the first combat round!"
"That's cool of you, bro. Thanks." said the Rogue.
"No probs," said the Warrior.
"OK, while these two are loving it up, I'm going to ready my mace. How was the jerky, by the way?"
"The jerky was fine, Cleric," said the DM. "OK, let's see what we have, here"
<dice roll>
"Rogue, you think you snuck up on it. The muck is only a hand or so high. It's brown and it doesn't appear to be moving at the moment."
"Holy crap, it's a Brown Slime! Those things are deadly!" said the Rogue.
"I jump in front of the Rogue," said the Warrior. "Remember, I told you before combat started I was going to do that, so the Rogue should get some AC bonus in case he's attacked."
"But, nothing has happened, yet. Are you initiating a combat round?" asked the DM.
"Well, no. But, like I told you before, I'm ready to protect the Rogue."
"I'm not going to attack or cast anything, yet, but I'm going to be ready too. So, I should get an initiative bonus," said the Mage.
"We aren't rolling initiative, yet," said the DM. "It's just sitting there and nobody has declared an attack. And, you wouldn't get a bonus, anyway."
"Dangit."
"I'm going to shoot it with my +5 Arrow of Piercing," declared the Ranger. "That should give it a bad day!"
"OK, well now we have to roll for-"
"Wait a sec," warned the Rogue. "If it's Brown Slime, you'll lose that arrow. Brown Slime eats metal!"
"Uh, OK, I won't use that. I'll use a regular arrow."
"Too late, roll for initiative," commands the DM.
<dice roll amidst player moans>
"We got a two! We got the drop on it for sure!" says the Rogue.
"Yes, you won the initiative. The arrow slices into the muck and pieces of it splatter against the wall. But it's still there."
"OK, I jump in front of the Rogue, like I told you I was going to do," said the Warrior. "He should get an AC bonus and I'm pretty well armored, so I should be fine for now."
"Yes, he gets an Armor Class bonus for this round," states the DM.
"Coolios! OK, I'm going to Backstab it," declares the Rogue. "That's going to be +4 to hit."
"It doesn't have a 'back.'"
"What? No way, it has to be facing us, right? So, whatever bit isn't facing us is it's 'back!'" said the Rogue.
"That's not how that works. It doesn't have a front, either, so it can't -"
"STOP I call time-out!" yells the Paladin. He holds up the Player's Handbook. "It say's right here, on page 58, that 'a Paladin's "Detect Evil" spell is always successful.'"
"That's right," said the DM. "But, I told you that you didn't detect any evil nearby."
"AHA!" The Paladin pulls out the Monster Manual. "It says right here on page 37 that Brown Slimes are Neutral Evil! So, my Detect Evil should have detected that Brown Slime and you didn't let me do that!"
"I told you that you didn't detect any Evil, though, and you didn't," said the DM.
"Huh. Well, OK then," said the Paladin. "But, next time, you have to tell me that my Detect Evil ability works, 'cause you're not making that clear."
The DM sighs. "But, the Player's Handbook" already says that a Paladin's Detect - "
"I cast a Fireball at it," states the Mage. He picks up six hit dice and rolls them across the table.
"JUST WAIT A MINUTE," yells the Cleric. "Just wait one darn minute." He looks at the DM. "He didn't do that."
"Yes I did."
"OK, wait a second, let's get this right," calms the DM. "Cleric, you're the Party Leader, so what do you want to say?"
"Look. The blast radius of that Fireball is going to be at least twenty feet," said the Cleric. "We're in a ten foot wide corridor, right?"
"Yes, that's right. The corridor is around ten feet wide, give or take a foot. It's roughly hewn stone," states the DM. "I think I see where you're going with this."
"That's right! So, there's no way this Mage is going to cast a Fireball spell in a closet and that's exactly what this place is, just one long closet. He'd cook us all."
"Look, I got three spells left, here - Fireball, Comprehend Languages and friggin' Breathe Water. What the crap am I gonna do with 'Breath Water?'"
"Breathe Water, idiot," said the Rogue.
"Screw you," said the Mage. "At least you can do something."
"Damn skippy, I can. Rogues are cool."
"Look, mage, I'll let you not cast the Fireball, but you'll have to lose your combat round. I'll give you an AC bonus, though," said the DM.
"Friggin' fine, whatever," said the Mage.
"OK, that leaves the Cleric."
"Well, if it's a Brown Slime, it'll mess up my mace, so I'll cast "Bless" instead," said the Cleric.
"OK, but you should have stated that at the beginning of the combat round. You cast Bless, but the bonuses won't go into effect until the next round."
"That's fine, we're OK for now and it'll give us an AC bonus, at least."
"Hey, I get to do something, right?" asked the Paladin.
"Yes. Technically, you haven't done anything yet this round, so it's your turn," said the DM. "What do you do?"
"OK, my sword is a +5, so it should get a bonus against the Slime's metal attack thingie. I'm going to hit it!"
"Fine. You hit it and a piece of it flies down the hall," says the DM. "That's everyone, so it's its turn." <dice roll> "It does nothing. It just sits there, with bits of it scattered about."
"Maybe it's friendly," says the Mage. "Ha! I'm going to cast Comprehend Languages and tell it we mean it no harm."
"That's really not quite how that works," says the DM.
"But, remember? We talked about that! Otherwise, Comprehend Languages would be stupid!"
"LOl, figures.." said the Rogue.
"Didn't I tell you to screw off?" said the Mage. "Want me to cast that Fireball, anyway?"
"OK, stop it," commanded the DM. "Fine! Mage, you cast Comprehend Languages and say that you mean it no harm. It says nothing."
"Are we in a new combat round, yet?" asks the Paladin.
"Technically, yes," states the DM. "But, it's just sitting there, so if you want to attack it again, you won't have to roll for initiative."
"A free attack! I murder the thing with my dagger," said the Rogue.
"Wait a second, guys," said the Cleric. "DM, this thing hasn't moved or anything yet, right?"
"That is correct."
"OK. Rogue, instead of attacking it, take a closer look at it. Warrior, cover him with your shield. Ranger, get ready with your bow. Paladin, you be ready to attack it again and I'll get ready, too."
"What about me?" asked the Mage.
"Uh, you get ready to hit it with your staff or something," answered the Cleric.
"Friggin' fine. Stupid Mages. I should have rolled a Bard..."
"OK, you guys get your plan together and everyone is ready." <dice roll> "The Rogue takes a closer look and doesn't detect anything unusual. <dice roll> "It does, however, smell a bit like poo."
"WTF? Poo?"
"Yes, it smells like poo," said the DM.
"Hey, guys, it's poo!" laughs the Rogue. "Better watch out, Mage, it's gonna get ya!"
"F' off. I swear I'm going to learn how to turn you into something unpleasant one of these days."
"Ha ha hah, 'learn' Don't make threats you can't keep, your wizardship."
"He's already unpleasant," said the Paladin.
"Hey, I didn't say nothing about you,
Mr. Clean with Poo on his 'Holy Sword.'"
"You're lucky I'm Lawful Good," said the Paladin. "But, that doesn't mean my character has to put up with your crap."
"Yeah, but you're the one covered in crap," said the Rogue. "So, who's laughing now, poo-boy?"
"Shut it, guys, the DM is getting 'that look,' said the Cleric. "Howabout it, DM? We OK to move on?"
"Sure, it's just a pile of poo. Sitting there. Well, mostly sitting there, since bits of it are scattered into other 'wheres.'"
"Yeah, yeah, funny. OK, we're moving on another ten feet, people," stated the Cleric. "Guys?"
"Yeah, I'm ready. I'm going to do the Secret Door detection this time," said the Rogue.
"Wait a damn minute!" demanded the Mage. "I'm the only Elf here and I can't do crap right now other than Elf stuff because Mages suck and Elves can detect Secret Doors, too, so I should be the one doing it."
"LOL. Mages suck," taunts the Rogue. "And, you're an Elf. Why the heck don't you have a bow, elf'gololalas?"
"F' OFF!"
"Shut up," warned the Cleric. "We don't have time for this."
"I didn't start it," muttered the Rogue.
"I'm going to nock another arrow," said the Ranger. "A regular one!"
"And, I'm going to ready my shield again, just like last time, OK?"
"Fine. The Rogue will get an AC bonus, 'just like last time,'" said the DM.
"Sweet! That's so cool!"
"OK DM, we move to the next square," says the Cleric. "And, guys, about that poo - At least we didn't step in it."
"I cast Detect Evil!"