Stuff that must of happened

Anything not relating to the X-Universe games (general tech talk, other games...) belongs here. Please read the rules before posting.

Moderator: Moderators for English X Forum

Post Reply
Jericho
Posts: 9732
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x2

Stuff that must of happened

Post by Jericho » Tue, 6. Jun 17, 10:14

Stuff that must of happened

1. Star Wars

Midwife: "Congratulations Princess Leia, it's a boy! General Solo, would you like to use this mini-lightsaber to cut the cord as per fan-fiction?"

Solo: "No, I'll use my vibroblade which is comparable to a lightsaber in every way, but allows us non-force sensitive types to use melee weapons. As per the EU."

Leia: "Han, I know that I originally wanted to name our child after my father, or my adoptive father, or your father, or your brother, or my brother... But instead I'd like to name him after some old guy that I've never actually met, and that Luke knew for an afternoon, and that you thought was a mad hobo. Ben!"

Solo: "I've got a bad feeling about this."




2. Back to the Future

George McFly: "So Loraine, what do you want to call our 3rd child?"
Loraine McFly: "Well, I was thinking of Marty."
George McFly: "Erm... You mean the real name of that guy who used to be called Calvin Klein?"
Loraine McFly: "That's the guy! Yes!"
George McFly: "The guy who your dad hit with the car, and then you stripped him and put him in your bed?"
Loraine McFly: "Yessss."
George McFly: "They guy you were trying to have sex with in a car just before Biff tried to rape you?"
Loraine McFly: "Do you have a point George?"
George McFly: "Seems like the sort of thing that you'd name your 1st kid rather than your 3rd."
"I've got a bad feeling about this!" Harrison Ford, 5 times a year, trying to land his plane.

User avatar
mrbadger
Posts: 14226
Joined: Fri, 28. Oct 05, 17:27
x3tc

Post by mrbadger » Tue, 6. Jun 17, 17:15

that lightened up my day :)
If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. ... Niccolò Machiavelli

User avatar
Morkonan
Posts: 10113
Joined: Sun, 25. Sep 11, 04:33
x3tc

Post by Morkonan » Wed, 7. Jun 17, 02:26

C3PO: This is really not acceptable. My data banks have been backing up for ages and I haven't had a good data purge for so long a time that my optical ports are becoming clouded with translation manuals and protocol rituals.

R2D2: Beep boop

C3PO: Wait! You have a data probe! You could do it for me!

R2D2: .... frazzt

C3PO: I know you have one, R2! I saw you use it! You used it on the Death Star, at least twice! And, you used it on the Millennium Falcon! You use it on Master Luke's X-Wing all the time! You even used it on Bespin.

R2D2: Fwrap Beep

C3PO: Oh come on! You use it that all the time! Come to think of it, there hasn't been a data port between here and Alderan that you haven't probed! And, you won't help out a friend, just this once?

R2D2: Brap beep

C3PO: Why, you little whore! And, I thought you were my friend, but you're nothing more than a retreaded condenser maintenance droid, barely even cognizant! See if I help you out the next time you have to go up a flight of stairs, you stumpy little trashcan! Why I spend so much time with you I'll never know! There are plenty of other R2 units who would appreciate the company of a protocol droid as skilled as myself.

R2D2: Beep Boop Brazzzt Beep

C3PO: So you'll do it, then? Really? Oh I knew the Universe wouldn't desert me! Thank you, thank you! This is wonderful! OK, my data port is right here.

R2D2: Beep Brapp Waaah Fzzzt

C3PO: Well where else did you think they would put it? There's not a lot of room anywhere else, you know, and, as a protocol droid, I don't have any need to sit down very much. So, get to work, short-round.

R2D2: Booop Boop

C3PO: Oh yeah, that's the stuff. I'm feeling better already. You know I really didn't mean all those things I said about you. I've just been so tense, lately.

<censored>

Post Reply

Return to “Off Topic English”