Ranty McRant Thread 2
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Not just "rural" America. If you live in a neighborhood with a lot of teenagers and you don't have kids that might hang out with them, you'll be "on the hit list" at least once, if not more often. I thought hard about ruggedizing my mailbox.birdtable wrote:What a romantic picture Hank001 paints of rural America....
Then, I moved to a slightly more laid-back neighborhood. Older, quiet, a bit different region of the country, nice and quiet. Still urban, just a lot more laid back.
A 90-something year-old neighbor ran over my mailbox because he didn't want to mix his daily breakfast run to a local family restaurant while there was half-a-foot of snow on the ground.
He never said anything, never apologized, didn't offer to help fix it, etc.. Likely because he was afraid of losing his license, which I can understand. So, since I experienced a portion of the terror that the elderly go through when confronted with that inevitability, thanks to caring for an elderly relative for awhile, I don't begrudge him that bit of anxiety-induced indifference.
But, it still pisses me off...
Morkonan states:
Well the old Rural Free Delivery days went away. I suppose you just can't have ann unlocked mailbox without somebody see an easy score. Same as "Porch Pirates" snagging delivery boxes right off if you don't grab them as soon as they're dropped off. Had to sets of college kids in town put each other in the hospital after one car rammed another over who got to follow the UPS truck. Cops got them both and as it was the Christmas rush both cars were stacked with other people's boxes. Me when I expect an order to come in I camp near the door!But, it still pisses me off...
The answer to life, the universe and everything:
MIND THE GAP
MIND THE GAP
All these images .... never saw Bob Ross paint one image of a trailed UPS truck (maybe a couple of shotgun outriders sat on the roof would deter) or a ravaged mail box .. Maybe he lived a sheltered life not experienced by most Americans ... Good old UK not so bad, mail gets delivered through letterbox or a neighbour takes in a larger parcel,, unless you live really rural, in that case delivery man leaves a note of where you can find parcel... In some cases we get updates from delivery van showing how far away he is and how many drops he has before you get the knock on the door (so you can put the kettle on for chat and a cuppa).... No baseball bat swinging bandidos hot on his heels... not the done thing old boy, well not in Southern England not sure about up North, they have all sorts of unsavoury practises up there...
birdtable says:
Heck I looked up "Porch Pirate" on YouTube and there's more videos of them than I cared to count.
Just so you get the idea I'm not overblowing "Mailbox Baseball" there's tons of vids on it too:
https://youtu.be/_3uqkFhnmb0
There was literally a story a night frim our Thanksgiving (Nov 25) to Christmas with some porch camera footage of porch pirates and the sad part was stories about people setting out booby traped boxes and getting busted when they did thing like spray the thief with dye .All these images .... never saw Bob Ross paint one image of a trailed UPS truck
Heck I looked up "Porch Pirate" on YouTube and there's more videos of them than I cared to count.
Just so you get the idea I'm not overblowing "Mailbox Baseball" there's tons of vids on it too:
https://youtu.be/_3uqkFhnmb0
The answer to life, the universe and everything:
MIND THE GAP
MIND THE GAP
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brucewarren
- Posts: 9243
- Joined: Wed, 26. Mar 08, 14:15
Why do you guys use an external mailbox in the first place?
Over on this side of the pond the front door will have a slot in it for the postman to push the letters through. If the mail is too big for the slot, the postman will ring the doorbell.
Is it a cultural thing or is there some practical advantage to the box?
Over on this side of the pond the front door will have a slot in it for the postman to push the letters through. If the mail is too big for the slot, the postman will ring the doorbell.
Is it a cultural thing or is there some practical advantage to the box?
It's convenient for the mail person. They don't have to leave their vehicle.brucewarren wrote:Why do you guys use an external mailbox in the first place?
This is particularly true in rural areas, where it is not uncommon for the house to be up a long winding road that may not be easily passable. Better for the mail person to drop the mail off on the main road.
Incidentally, I also live in rural America. Fortunately, I've not encountered any problems with vandals. Might have something to do with the fact that everyone around here is armed to the teeth.
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OmegaKnight
- Posts: 517
- Joined: Mon, 7. Nov 05, 19:31
Yeah I second the letterbox, as the better solution.
Also made me think of paperboys from the American films, just throwing newspapers onto the person's lawn,
that's delivered the newspaper 95% of the way to my house. It is odd the cultural differences.
As for your mailbox, if mounting it atop a 4x4" wooden post is ok
then can you not put a second post, next to it, to act as a blocker
(if that's the right American Football reference; still not sure why you need body armour to play rugby)?
Or just mount to box on the (down road) side of a slightly higher post, so it's at the right height.
So if someone takes a swing at it they just hit regulation approved wood?
Also made me think of paperboys from the American films, just throwing newspapers onto the person's lawn,
that's delivered the newspaper 95% of the way to my house. It is odd the cultural differences.
As for your mailbox, if mounting it atop a 4x4" wooden post is ok
then can you not put a second post, next to it, to act as a blocker
(if that's the right American Football reference; still not sure why you need body armour to play rugby)?
Or just mount to box on the (down road) side of a slightly higher post, so it's at the right height.
So if someone takes a swing at it they just hit regulation approved wood?
In many places, "to the door" delivery has stopped being offered except in the case of disabled people, who have to get a special allowance from the local Postmaster for that.brucewarren wrote:Why do you guys use an external mailbox in the first place?
Over on this side of the pond the front door will have a slot in it for the postman to push the letters through. If the mail is too big for the slot, the postman will ring the doorbell.
Is it a cultural thing or is there some practical advantage to the box?
Keep in mind that we're also a bit more spread out - There aren't as many walking routes in a lot of places. In heavily urbanized areas, there are surely many door-to-door route walkers and plenty of door-slots and mailbox clusters. But, in rural and suburban areas, there's just too much ground to cover for that and the postal worker can't cover their route if they have to frequently leave their vehicle. (They do still have to leave for "Certified Mail" and certain sorts of packages that won't fit in a standard mailbox, though.)
The US Postal Service is a weird animal. It is "semi-privatized." It receives only partial funding from the government, these days, and I think that's a mistake. So, it has to overcome shortfalls by cutting expenses and costs, which often means making everything "more efficient" so they can reduce labor costs. For those who can do it, it's a good job, though, with decent benefits, but long and hard hours.
All respect to our USPS workers as they do a good job with what they've got to do. (And, thanks to Amazon for contracting with them, else they'd be in a lot more trouble IMO.)
PS- Just to clarify: There are "parcel" companies that specialize in shipping boxes and parcels and the like and there are expediters that ship quickly or specialize in special services. But, regular mail, letters, bills, that sort of stuff is all normally delivered by the USPS. They do deliver parcels, as well, but they're really the only source for regular letter deliveries. For rural areas where it's not economically feasible for them to keep a lot of postal carriers on staff or to set up a central Post Office, they subcontract with private letter carriers, usually people driving their own car to rural locations that take a bit of time/effort to get to.
Saw "Justice League," today. It was stoopid. I was going to post this to the movies and TV thread, but it got a bit more ranty, so I figured I'd gift this thread, instead.
At this point, the rest is purely for entertainment purposes. Mostly mine, I'm sure. Just know that if you're thinking about watching "Justice League" you probably shouldn't. You are, of course, allowed to have liked it. That's fair. So, you can rant about my rant, if you want.
Spoiler rant on what Stoopid is made of, below, since there might be someone that wants to waste time watching this "movie." It is a movie. Srsly. Well, it's put on a big screen and people pay money to watch the screen. The funny thing is, they pay money to watch absolutely nothing on the screen, too. You can not go into a theater auditorium without paying money, so watching nothing counts as entertainment, just like watching "Justice League."
At this point, the rest is purely for entertainment purposes. Mostly mine, I'm sure. Just know that if you're thinking about watching "Justice League" you probably shouldn't. You are, of course, allowed to have liked it. That's fair. So, you can rant about my rant, if you want.
Spoiler rant on what Stoopid is made of, below, since there might be someone that wants to waste time watching this "movie." It is a movie. Srsly. Well, it's put on a big screen and people pay money to watch the screen. The funny thing is, they pay money to watch absolutely nothing on the screen, too. You can not go into a theater auditorium without paying money, so watching nothing counts as entertainment, just like watching "Justice League."
Spoiler
Show
The plot was typical. Uber Evil guy most people have never heard of wants to use the Evil version of the Genesis Device to turn the Earth into a permanent version of Halloween. That's what he calls "Mom." Or some crap..
His toadies are the flying bug wasp guys from the cartoon, "The Tick." They're "scary." I dunno, some six year-old wants to go after them with a can of bug spray, so I guess they ain't all that.
OK, it's an ensemble piece. That means "Some Assembly Required." Well, everyone gets their intro and backstory and their opening scene and uber awesome one-liner spoken so incomprehensibly the audience can't really appreciate it before the quick-cut to "Introduce Hero #2."
Highlights:
Aquaman: Aquaman is no longer a weenie frat boy with no skills. Now, his skills are being a buff alcoholic frat boy who likes swimming. He really likes it. A lot. And boobs. I'm not sure what his purpose is, here, other than to tell the Superfrie... I mean the future members of the "Justice League" that, ahem, - "^@@$ on fire, yo."
Gal Gadot: Probably the character that is most true to the character, Gal Gadot is a superhero masquerading as Wonder Woman. She has legs that go all the way up, which should really be considered a super-power. Unfortunately, we only get close-ups when she's making screamy faces. Or, one of those signature smirky face "This is comic relief during a dramatic moment and we want you to know that" sorts of faces. It's not a bad Wonder Woman for whatever bits in the movie that actually matters. Coulda been played by "That bitch from Highgarden" in GoT, though. (I know, a bit more about WW than others. But, ffs, it's Wonder Woman!)
The Flash: They ran out of pimply faced post-pubescent adults and carbon-copied a cheap rip-off of Spiderman for this one. To be honest, he was the best "character" in the show. But, he was almost entirely for comic relief and for something the audience could identify with. "I'm scared of bugs." Oh, look, big guys dressed in bug suits? I guess that counts? "I've never actually been in a fight." We gonna learn ya some fightin', son! Do the "speedy thing stuff" whenever we get in a round room, k?" He had a few interesting moments that were a bit too close to Quicksilver from "Days of Future Past," but without much of the drama or risk in that movie. I think he got punched twice, maybe three times. Big danger, much wow... (He really was the best character, though.)
Cyborg - Another, somewhat, interesting character, but pretty darn flat since they had to move too quickly to finish. "Oh yeah? Well, if I feel like it, I might tell you where the bad guys are after I finish downloading the entire catalog from PornHub." vs "Hey, look, I just showed up because... Oh well, forgettabout it, let's go kick bug butt, except I won't actually do much of that 'cause, you know, 1337 haxx and dloading PornHub stuffs. Oh wait, lemme say something technical so it makes me look computer "Nanoseconds." There, done. Oh, and I hate my father for doing this to me, but I really don't. For a sec, I was about to forget my internal conflict!"
Superman - If you ever need a Deus Ex Machina, why wait for the gods? Just add "magic," yourself. Or, use some evil nasty Genesis Device of Ultimate Halloween Without Candy that will, somefrigginhow, with magical fookin liquid and a charge from a toaster, do the job for you?" First, you actually have to commit a crime and dig up a dead body, though. Superman is dead, but then he's not. And, he might be pissed off about that, or not. He is, but not really, maybe. Well, no, he really isn't, and he really likes being alive, now, so all you poor bartard mortals that just paid real money for this movie have that to look forward to, now. Gratz you, suckers. Superman came back and said being dead sucks. That's like saying your childhood pet puppy that got run over by a truck never crossed the Rainbow Bridge and is still dead as Adam's housecat, flat as a pancake, with toenails and teeth still scattered all over the pavement... Go ahead, cry. Thanks for the info, Supe.
The Batman: The best for last! Look, the character, itself, wasn't really bad. And, I don't think Ben Affleck sucks as an actor or as "Batman." But, this is the only Batman I've seen him play because I threw up while watching the first bit of "Batman vs Superman" and couldn't watch it anymore... Anyway, so - Batman wasn't completely terrible. It's just that he wasn't much of completely anything in this movie. There wasn't any role in this movie AT ALL that needed the ominous, powerful, often ethically and morally torn, conflicting, whiny big bartard that is, in fact, "Batman." This "Batman" was... wtf Bats? Whining 'cause he may have killed Supe? OK, maybe. But, then deciding that what the world actually needs is to go all Dr. Frankenstein? WTF? "I KNOW! Let's take the most evilestest technomagic device in existence, that will literally turn the Earth into permanent Halloween, without the fun bits, and use it to resurrect the most pure Christlike figure in comic history? GREAT IDEA!" It's not Bats fault - The writers wrote that bit in. He just had to read the lines and comply with his contractual obligations for "getting paid a crapton of money to appear in films with a DC logo on them. And, getting to direct a big-budget action movie," of course.
Steppenwolf: They didn't cut an album for this one and that's probably what most of the people watching the show were wondering. Instead, they bring out a fairly obscure DC villainish character and threaten the Earth with him. OK, fair enough. Except... Why in the world did they go completely CGI with him? That was a waste. I get the whole "We want to make him look special" but, then all they did was make him bigger and give him the "Forehead of the Week" makeup effects from ST:TNG. Like... what? Just to be honest, though - Steppenwolf was the next, best, character after Flash from an appeal/story perspective. At least he wanted something.
The Special Effects: OK, they are always part of these movies, so we just have to look at them, too. Were they good? Meh, I don't really like "Special Effects" if I can notice them. I also have to say that I saw the movie on the "small screen" (TV) and there are some color differences, there. (A bit less, these days, than CRT.) Anyway, most of the plastic stuff looked like plastic. And, if that means everything was made out of plastic? Yup. The one moment when it was great was when we saw Superman's cape in one short clip where it almost really looked like cloth. That was it. THAT was the one bit of special effects in the whole friggin movie that impressed me.. In one shot, one very short clip where Superman is facing away from the camera, his cape looks "almost" like cloth. I am not kidding. I'm serious.
The story, summed up from a guy who wants to come off as acerbic as possible without really being a huge @55hole:
So, some superheroes have some backstory moments to get you primed, there are some loose connections made with them and current events, then there's this deep background crap about why all the current events they're going to be involved with should worry you and then... See, this big scary guy wants to make the Earth into a permanent version of his Mom, who/which/it/wtf is some plane that is in permanent "Halloween" mode. No candy. No cutesy version of Sarah Jessica Parker (She was awesome in that movie!) and no possibility of funny clowns, just the scary ones. To do this, he has to use his Motherboxes, which aren't the ones he got from Real Doll, but some arcane magic/technogoop devices that, when brought together, make Halloween happen and everyone gets scared and then... something or other. Oh, and he's big and scary and has given a bunch of people scary-juice to turn them into flying bugmachines that feed on fear. So, it's gonna be a really big fight for some reason, since he found where all the Motherboxes were hidden. (Yes, they are called Motherboxes. No kidding. I'm serious. That's what they fookin' called the most evilest, scariest, most powerful things on the planet - Motherboxes. Fookin morans...) So, Batman begins to collect his crew for The Big Heis- I mean, he begins to gather allies to assist him in this fight. But, he doesn't know what the fight is about, yet. And, he doesn't know why, yet. But, there is one, right? Maybe? He doesn't know... Maybe he just wants friends? Super friends? <Oh, the snark!>
Everyone gets their camera moment. The only one you'll pay attention to is when Gal Gadot's skirt flips up. (Not sure if that was real or CGI, but it doesn't matter, amiright?) They're not exactly full of suck, I guess, but they're terribly distant from each other for this to be the introduction for some of these characters. Nobody cares about most of them. So, they have to manufacture some "care" as soon as possible. Enter pimply faced virgin, a booze swilling frat boy, a guy who has mommy and daddy issues and just, well, "screw everybody" attitude, which could all "work."
But it doesn't, because this is an ensemble piece and there is no reason for any of these people to actually get together to do anything. So, Bats has to go convince them, mostly just by asking.
"You wanna go do sumthing?"
"Sure. What?"
"I dunno."
"Ok, swell."
Sure, later he finds out what's really happening, but remember that he set out to go grab the most powerful people he could find because he thought that something was going to happen. He didn't know what it really was. He thought it might be an invasion because he saw a bugman, once, but couldn't really be sure. I know that's the first thing I think about whenever I see bugpeople and not that I overdosed on my meds, again...
OK, so everyone figures out that there's going to be this big fight. And, they go to it and decide to have it. Everyone gears up, gets their shiny stuff ready to FIGHT EVEEL and then... they get their asses kicked. THAT WAS GREAT! MOAR PLSKTHX!
But, no. You see, they don't like getting their asses kicked. Screw that! It's too much work! Let's resurrect fookin' Superman and he can deal with it! IT'S SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM AND SINCE CHRIST ISN'T ANSWERING HIS EMAILS, WE'LL GET SUPERMAN!
But how? Superman is dead because of "reasons." I dunno, didn't see the previous movie and didn't think I needed to in order to understand this one, since MOVIES THAT ARE NOT SEQUELS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO REQUIRE THAT! /sigh Anyway, Supe is dead and they decide that, since they need Superman to not be dead anymore, they're going to use the most vile, evil, threatening, permanent-Halloween-inducing device on the entire planet to... resurrect him.
And, stuff happens and that's about it.
I am not kidding. The only interesting part that happens is that Supe kicks the crap out of them. I enjoyed that a lot, btw, 'cause who wouldn't? BUT, and here is the kicker - Superman didn't kick the crap out of them because he was contaminated by the most vile, evil, nasty, thing on the planet. Oh no! He just forgot who he was for a little while and started kicking ass because Cyborgdood's arm malfunctioned because it detected Superman scanning it, since "scanning" MUST be related to "Do Computer" and that's why the suit could detect it... or some fookin reason.
I keep trying to make the excuse "It's a movie about comic book heroes" for these movies. But, after awhile, it just doesn't work anymore.
A friend of mine and I discussed Marvel vs DC one day. He reminded me of something important - When I had argued that Marvel was "grittier" he told me to look at DC again. So, I did. And, he was right. In fact, DC has a habit of making deeper characters, more emotion, more moral problems, than Marvel. I love Marvel because "it's cool and I will fight about it." Marvel loves complex stories and magical-mystical-sciencey stuffs. DC is more in your face with someone's emotional heart being ripped out... Gritty? They're different types of gritty with some really dark gritty going on with DC, at times.
But, here?
This was an attempt to make a Marvel Ensemble movie with DC characters and it sucked. Did it fail? We'll see. It's an "intro" piece, obviously designed to set the stage for Bigger and Better. Will it really work that way? I hope so.
DC characters are not Marvel characters. The stories aren't the same. The reasons for the stories aren't the same. The "Superpowers" of DC characters aren't mutated gimcrackery, they're internal, they're emotional, and they don't matter one little bit as far as what a DC Superhero "has to conquer." Superman isn't Superman because he can fly and has super strength. He's Superman because he is "good" and good will always triumph over evil. Batman isn't Bats because he's rich and smart, he's Batman because criminals need to fear just like he did, once, and justice is only meaningful when it gets served up hard, but with no permanent injuries or death, 'cause that's just cruel an' stuff. Batman wants to kill every bad guy, always, but doesn't, because he's better than they are. That's DC. And, this movie wasn't that and the characters weren't that. They were "We're Trying To Be X-Men" characters. Oh, and the story was for crap... But, what else are they gonna do but try to "save the world?"
There is absolutely no reason at all to watch this movie even if/when a Justice League 2 movie comes out. None. Zero. In fact, don't go through the agony of seeing this dry pile of crap on any sized screen. Just take it for granted that there is now a "Justice League" and Batman paid the mortgage for it. Literally.
Oh, and he bought Supe's Aunt's old house, too, so Superman and Lois, perhaps, now have a place to live that isn't depressing. Oh, wait...
His toadies are the flying bug wasp guys from the cartoon, "The Tick." They're "scary." I dunno, some six year-old wants to go after them with a can of bug spray, so I guess they ain't all that.
OK, it's an ensemble piece. That means "Some Assembly Required." Well, everyone gets their intro and backstory and their opening scene and uber awesome one-liner spoken so incomprehensibly the audience can't really appreciate it before the quick-cut to "Introduce Hero #2."
Highlights:
Aquaman: Aquaman is no longer a weenie frat boy with no skills. Now, his skills are being a buff alcoholic frat boy who likes swimming. He really likes it. A lot. And boobs. I'm not sure what his purpose is, here, other than to tell the Superfrie... I mean the future members of the "Justice League" that, ahem, - "^@@$ on fire, yo."
Gal Gadot: Probably the character that is most true to the character, Gal Gadot is a superhero masquerading as Wonder Woman. She has legs that go all the way up, which should really be considered a super-power. Unfortunately, we only get close-ups when she's making screamy faces. Or, one of those signature smirky face "This is comic relief during a dramatic moment and we want you to know that" sorts of faces. It's not a bad Wonder Woman for whatever bits in the movie that actually matters. Coulda been played by "That bitch from Highgarden" in GoT, though. (I know, a bit more about WW than others. But, ffs, it's Wonder Woman!)
The Flash: They ran out of pimply faced post-pubescent adults and carbon-copied a cheap rip-off of Spiderman for this one. To be honest, he was the best "character" in the show. But, he was almost entirely for comic relief and for something the audience could identify with. "I'm scared of bugs." Oh, look, big guys dressed in bug suits? I guess that counts? "I've never actually been in a fight." We gonna learn ya some fightin', son! Do the "speedy thing stuff" whenever we get in a round room, k?" He had a few interesting moments that were a bit too close to Quicksilver from "Days of Future Past," but without much of the drama or risk in that movie. I think he got punched twice, maybe three times. Big danger, much wow... (He really was the best character, though.)
Cyborg - Another, somewhat, interesting character, but pretty darn flat since they had to move too quickly to finish. "Oh yeah? Well, if I feel like it, I might tell you where the bad guys are after I finish downloading the entire catalog from PornHub." vs "Hey, look, I just showed up because... Oh well, forgettabout it, let's go kick bug butt, except I won't actually do much of that 'cause, you know, 1337 haxx and dloading PornHub stuffs. Oh wait, lemme say something technical so it makes me look computer "Nanoseconds." There, done. Oh, and I hate my father for doing this to me, but I really don't. For a sec, I was about to forget my internal conflict!"
Superman - If you ever need a Deus Ex Machina, why wait for the gods? Just add "magic," yourself. Or, use some evil nasty Genesis Device of Ultimate Halloween Without Candy that will, somefrigginhow, with magical fookin liquid and a charge from a toaster, do the job for you?" First, you actually have to commit a crime and dig up a dead body, though. Superman is dead, but then he's not. And, he might be pissed off about that, or not. He is, but not really, maybe. Well, no, he really isn't, and he really likes being alive, now, so all you poor bartard mortals that just paid real money for this movie have that to look forward to, now. Gratz you, suckers. Superman came back and said being dead sucks. That's like saying your childhood pet puppy that got run over by a truck never crossed the Rainbow Bridge and is still dead as Adam's housecat, flat as a pancake, with toenails and teeth still scattered all over the pavement... Go ahead, cry. Thanks for the info, Supe.
The Batman: The best for last! Look, the character, itself, wasn't really bad. And, I don't think Ben Affleck sucks as an actor or as "Batman." But, this is the only Batman I've seen him play because I threw up while watching the first bit of "Batman vs Superman" and couldn't watch it anymore... Anyway, so - Batman wasn't completely terrible. It's just that he wasn't much of completely anything in this movie. There wasn't any role in this movie AT ALL that needed the ominous, powerful, often ethically and morally torn, conflicting, whiny big bartard that is, in fact, "Batman." This "Batman" was... wtf Bats? Whining 'cause he may have killed Supe? OK, maybe. But, then deciding that what the world actually needs is to go all Dr. Frankenstein? WTF? "I KNOW! Let's take the most evilestest technomagic device in existence, that will literally turn the Earth into permanent Halloween, without the fun bits, and use it to resurrect the most pure Christlike figure in comic history? GREAT IDEA!" It's not Bats fault - The writers wrote that bit in. He just had to read the lines and comply with his contractual obligations for "getting paid a crapton of money to appear in films with a DC logo on them. And, getting to direct a big-budget action movie," of course.
Steppenwolf: They didn't cut an album for this one and that's probably what most of the people watching the show were wondering. Instead, they bring out a fairly obscure DC villainish character and threaten the Earth with him. OK, fair enough. Except... Why in the world did they go completely CGI with him? That was a waste. I get the whole "We want to make him look special" but, then all they did was make him bigger and give him the "Forehead of the Week" makeup effects from ST:TNG. Like... what? Just to be honest, though - Steppenwolf was the next, best, character after Flash from an appeal/story perspective. At least he wanted something.
The Special Effects: OK, they are always part of these movies, so we just have to look at them, too. Were they good? Meh, I don't really like "Special Effects" if I can notice them. I also have to say that I saw the movie on the "small screen" (TV) and there are some color differences, there. (A bit less, these days, than CRT.) Anyway, most of the plastic stuff looked like plastic. And, if that means everything was made out of plastic? Yup. The one moment when it was great was when we saw Superman's cape in one short clip where it almost really looked like cloth. That was it. THAT was the one bit of special effects in the whole friggin movie that impressed me.. In one shot, one very short clip where Superman is facing away from the camera, his cape looks "almost" like cloth. I am not kidding. I'm serious.
The story, summed up from a guy who wants to come off as acerbic as possible without really being a huge @55hole:
So, some superheroes have some backstory moments to get you primed, there are some loose connections made with them and current events, then there's this deep background crap about why all the current events they're going to be involved with should worry you and then... See, this big scary guy wants to make the Earth into a permanent version of his Mom, who/which/it/wtf is some plane that is in permanent "Halloween" mode. No candy. No cutesy version of Sarah Jessica Parker (She was awesome in that movie!) and no possibility of funny clowns, just the scary ones. To do this, he has to use his Motherboxes, which aren't the ones he got from Real Doll, but some arcane magic/technogoop devices that, when brought together, make Halloween happen and everyone gets scared and then... something or other. Oh, and he's big and scary and has given a bunch of people scary-juice to turn them into flying bugmachines that feed on fear. So, it's gonna be a really big fight for some reason, since he found where all the Motherboxes were hidden. (Yes, they are called Motherboxes. No kidding. I'm serious. That's what they fookin' called the most evilest, scariest, most powerful things on the planet - Motherboxes. Fookin morans...) So, Batman begins to collect his crew for The Big Heis- I mean, he begins to gather allies to assist him in this fight. But, he doesn't know what the fight is about, yet. And, he doesn't know why, yet. But, there is one, right? Maybe? He doesn't know... Maybe he just wants friends? Super friends? <Oh, the snark!>
Everyone gets their camera moment. The only one you'll pay attention to is when Gal Gadot's skirt flips up. (Not sure if that was real or CGI, but it doesn't matter, amiright?) They're not exactly full of suck, I guess, but they're terribly distant from each other for this to be the introduction for some of these characters. Nobody cares about most of them. So, they have to manufacture some "care" as soon as possible. Enter pimply faced virgin, a booze swilling frat boy, a guy who has mommy and daddy issues and just, well, "screw everybody" attitude, which could all "work."
But it doesn't, because this is an ensemble piece and there is no reason for any of these people to actually get together to do anything. So, Bats has to go convince them, mostly just by asking.
"You wanna go do sumthing?"
"Sure. What?"
"I dunno."
"Ok, swell."
Sure, later he finds out what's really happening, but remember that he set out to go grab the most powerful people he could find because he thought that something was going to happen. He didn't know what it really was. He thought it might be an invasion because he saw a bugman, once, but couldn't really be sure. I know that's the first thing I think about whenever I see bugpeople and not that I overdosed on my meds, again...
OK, so everyone figures out that there's going to be this big fight. And, they go to it and decide to have it. Everyone gears up, gets their shiny stuff ready to FIGHT EVEEL and then... they get their asses kicked. THAT WAS GREAT! MOAR PLSKTHX!
But, no. You see, they don't like getting their asses kicked. Screw that! It's too much work! Let's resurrect fookin' Superman and he can deal with it! IT'S SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM AND SINCE CHRIST ISN'T ANSWERING HIS EMAILS, WE'LL GET SUPERMAN!
But how? Superman is dead because of "reasons." I dunno, didn't see the previous movie and didn't think I needed to in order to understand this one, since MOVIES THAT ARE NOT SEQUELS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO REQUIRE THAT! /sigh Anyway, Supe is dead and they decide that, since they need Superman to not be dead anymore, they're going to use the most vile, evil, threatening, permanent-Halloween-inducing device on the entire planet to... resurrect him.
And, stuff happens and that's about it.
I am not kidding. The only interesting part that happens is that Supe kicks the crap out of them. I enjoyed that a lot, btw, 'cause who wouldn't? BUT, and here is the kicker - Superman didn't kick the crap out of them because he was contaminated by the most vile, evil, nasty, thing on the planet. Oh no! He just forgot who he was for a little while and started kicking ass because Cyborgdood's arm malfunctioned because it detected Superman scanning it, since "scanning" MUST be related to "Do Computer" and that's why the suit could detect it... or some fookin reason.
I keep trying to make the excuse "It's a movie about comic book heroes" for these movies. But, after awhile, it just doesn't work anymore.
A friend of mine and I discussed Marvel vs DC one day. He reminded me of something important - When I had argued that Marvel was "grittier" he told me to look at DC again. So, I did. And, he was right. In fact, DC has a habit of making deeper characters, more emotion, more moral problems, than Marvel. I love Marvel because "it's cool and I will fight about it." Marvel loves complex stories and magical-mystical-sciencey stuffs. DC is more in your face with someone's emotional heart being ripped out... Gritty? They're different types of gritty with some really dark gritty going on with DC, at times.
But, here?
This was an attempt to make a Marvel Ensemble movie with DC characters and it sucked. Did it fail? We'll see. It's an "intro" piece, obviously designed to set the stage for Bigger and Better. Will it really work that way? I hope so.
DC characters are not Marvel characters. The stories aren't the same. The reasons for the stories aren't the same. The "Superpowers" of DC characters aren't mutated gimcrackery, they're internal, they're emotional, and they don't matter one little bit as far as what a DC Superhero "has to conquer." Superman isn't Superman because he can fly and has super strength. He's Superman because he is "good" and good will always triumph over evil. Batman isn't Bats because he's rich and smart, he's Batman because criminals need to fear just like he did, once, and justice is only meaningful when it gets served up hard, but with no permanent injuries or death, 'cause that's just cruel an' stuff. Batman wants to kill every bad guy, always, but doesn't, because he's better than they are. That's DC. And, this movie wasn't that and the characters weren't that. They were "We're Trying To Be X-Men" characters. Oh, and the story was for crap... But, what else are they gonna do but try to "save the world?"
There is absolutely no reason at all to watch this movie even if/when a Justice League 2 movie comes out. None. Zero. In fact, don't go through the agony of seeing this dry pile of crap on any sized screen. Just take it for granted that there is now a "Justice League" and Batman paid the mortgage for it. Literally.
Oh, and he bought Supe's Aunt's old house, too, so Superman and Lois, perhaps, now have a place to live that isn't depressing. Oh, wait...
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BugMeister
- Posts: 13647
- Joined: Thu, 15. Jul 04, 04:41
this sort of nonsense is everywhere, these days
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ5KV3rzuag
- a fantasy..
- just give it up..
- we don't belong anywhere else in the universe - we're humans, geddit..?
- a colossal waste of time
- and a colossal waste of money and resources..
- the worst form of regression..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ5KV3rzuag
- a fantasy..
- just give it up..
- we don't belong anywhere else in the universe - we're humans, geddit..?
- a colossal waste of time
- and a colossal waste of money and resources..
- the worst form of regression..
- the whole universe is running in BETA mode - we're working on it.. beep..!! 
BugMeister says about idiotic idea:
Sure! Why not?
Oh let me see... Venus. Atmosphereic pressure...92 bars (could crush most metal structures) Mean temperature... 464° C (Balmy if you want to melt aluminum, lead, etc)- a fantasy..
- just give it up..
- we don't belong anywhere else in the universe - were humans, geddit..?
- a colossal waste of time
- and a colossal waste of money and resources..
Sure! Why not?
The answer to life, the universe and everything:
MIND THE GAP
MIND THE GAP
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Alan Phipps
- Moderator (English)
- Posts: 30433
- Joined: Fri, 16. Apr 04, 19:21
Alan posed:
https://youtu.be/fakpqLDEQAo
Venus (Aphrodite) was married the lamed god of the forge Hephestus (Vulcan) which seems to imply she's living in his house because it surely seems like a great place to forge metals...
Though I'll take a pass on any planned trip there thak you...
Been done to death...… but just think of the song lyric opportunities …
https://youtu.be/fakpqLDEQAo
Venus (Aphrodite) was married the lamed god of the forge Hephestus (Vulcan) which seems to imply she's living in his house because it surely seems like a great place to forge metals...
Though I'll take a pass on any planned trip there thak you...
The answer to life, the universe and everything:
MIND THE GAP
MIND THE GAP
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Mightysword
- Posts: 4350
- Joined: Wed, 10. Mar 04, 05:11
@ Mighysword
My sympathies, but evey dog has it's day.
Day (?) It's been @$$!# months since my house had a cable connection. Yes I'm way out in the sticks but damn it's only seven miles or so from town! The water main burst after a week of subzero temps and the tore up yards... Meters of cable and two juctions getting to the break. Seems the cable company had permissions from the town, but we're out in the county 3 kilometers from the town limits. Cable company was sued by town and county and sued by us in a class action and the cable company lost. Then won both on appeal... How? Mediacom (Cable company) put on some serious political pressure and half the appeals judges are up for reappointment this year. So it looks like I'll never get cable and because any satellite dish would have to be on on a 20 meter high mast to pick up the signal (which is 5 meters above something that requires Federal Aviation Administration approval which costs $5000 US just to start the process) it's not happening. Which is why I'm stuch with the local stations on antenna or watching YouTube on by smartphone...
Oh yeah. The cable was my only internet connection to my PC.
Saving grace before was that I inherited my mother's trailer closer to town. It has cable TV. Started to get internet but that would mean dragging my PC there. Not happening. And now the school year is starting and I have a renter moving back in on Monday.
Sometimes life just plain sucks and the only directions you have are towards or away from the vacuum...
My sympathies, but evey dog has it's day.
Day (?) It's been @$$!# months since my house had a cable connection. Yes I'm way out in the sticks but damn it's only seven miles or so from town! The water main burst after a week of subzero temps and the tore up yards... Meters of cable and two juctions getting to the break. Seems the cable company had permissions from the town, but we're out in the county 3 kilometers from the town limits. Cable company was sued by town and county and sued by us in a class action and the cable company lost. Then won both on appeal... How? Mediacom (Cable company) put on some serious political pressure and half the appeals judges are up for reappointment this year. So it looks like I'll never get cable and because any satellite dish would have to be on on a 20 meter high mast to pick up the signal (which is 5 meters above something that requires Federal Aviation Administration approval which costs $5000 US just to start the process) it's not happening. Which is why I'm stuch with the local stations on antenna or watching YouTube on by smartphone...
Oh yeah. The cable was my only internet connection to my PC.
Saving grace before was that I inherited my mother's trailer closer to town. It has cable TV. Started to get internet but that would mean dragging my PC there. Not happening. And now the school year is starting and I have a renter moving back in on Monday.
Sometimes life just plain sucks and the only directions you have are towards or away from the vacuum...
The answer to life, the universe and everything:
MIND THE GAP
MIND THE GAP
"Hi, I'm an Overly Enthusiastic Yippy. Today, I'm going to suggest something really stupid in order to get you to click on this link! And then, I'm going to compare it to something that it shouldn't be compared to, just to piss you off and make you keep watching! And then, I'm going to turn reason on its head by making an argument in favor of that stupid idea and I'm going to legitimize it by mentioning some scientificky-sounding thing that's really nothing more than a think-tank that specializes in "What if" ideas.BugMeister wrote:this sort of nonsense is everywhere, these days
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ5KV3rzuag
...
It's all in the name of "The Holy Church of Science" so anything goes, no matter how damn stupid it is and if you don't agree then you're stupid, because this is SCIENCE!"
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Mightysword
- Posts: 4350
- Joined: Wed, 10. Mar 04, 05:11
So just like the History Channel then.Morkonan wrote: And then, I'm going to turn reason on its head by making an argument in favor of that stupid idea and I'm going to legitimize it by mentioning some scientificky-sounding thing that's really nothing more than a think-tank that specializes in "What if" ideas.
And the real question is: did you click and watch it?
I did "click and watch it."Mightysword wrote:So just like the History Channel then.Morkonan wrote: And then, I'm going to turn reason on its head by making an argument in favor of that stupid idea and I'm going to legitimize it by mentioning some scientificky-sounding thing that's really nothing more than a think-tank that specializes in "What if" ideas.
And the real question is: did you click and watch it?
Why?
So I could see if I could find a way to make fun of it.
By the way, I just checked to see if I could make a quip about this yippie wearing those "skinny jeans" they all like. (For the discriminating male, the "tapered leg" is more appropriately called "English Cut" if you're looking for that look in a suit. I prefer the more roomy and comfortable "American Cut", which leaves room for your collection of extra calories as well as a large caliber handgun..)
Nope.
Instead, it looks like he's wearing the new and fashionable "just left all my laundry in the dryer for a week look."
Or, maybe it's that "I got this job by waiting outside a Home Depot for five hours until a pickup-truck stopped" look.
More likely it's the "I got fired from my "Work At home" I.T. Telephone Customer Service Desk Job And This Is The Best Thing The Temp Service Could Offer Me" look...